The End Is Nigh

I'm done talking about being 30. And enough with the old man jokes already.
Sure, I may or may not have a kidney stone (test results are pending), but I haven't graduated to Ben Gay, bifocals or Depends underwear yet. Nor do I drive slow, in the fast lane, with my blinker on from when I left the house in the morning.
I do, however, find myself muttering under my breath at "these young punks" and marvelling at just how stupid they can be. I say things now like "respect your elders" and "turn off that damned MTV," and act more like Walter Mathau in Grumpy Old Men.
But I haven't developed my over-the-hill beer-gut yet. I'm still svelte enough, and, more importantly, young enough to wear this to sporting events.

I'm 30 now. My 20s are over. Now real life begins.
I guess you can say you haven't lived until you've had a kidney stone.



Anyways, the Harlem Globetrotters made a rare appearance in Kelowna on Friday, and with three (gasp) sports reporters in the office, and no photographers, I was elected to go shoot the game. There were some friendly, squint-eyed faces in the crowd, too ...
I've seen three Globies shows now, and I don't think the act, much less it's formula of success, has changed in 30 years. There's still the ol' bucket full of ticker-tape, there's still the heart-covered boxers, there's still the "steal-the-purse-from-the-pretty-lady-in-the-front-row," and there's still the half-court, over-the-shoulder hook shot.
I actually learned the fundamentals of the game from a former Globie, Mel "Trick" Davis, and remember going to his basketball camp with his son, Hubert. (Who has since made an incredible documentary about his dad).
I met Hubert's namesake, Hubert "Geese" Ausbie when the Globies came to Kelowna in 2001, back in the days when I thought it would be cool to grow a soulpatch. (Don't worry - with aging comes the maturity that goes with it. The Goat is long gone.)
Another Globetrotters connection: my cousin, Russell Kleiman, used to play for the Washington Generals, the now-defunct opponent of the Globies. He later went on to play pro in Israel. I have a lot of respect for those guys, because it takes a very good player to look bad and look good while he's doing it. Then, do it night after night, and it's a grind.
A keen eye will notice there is a game within a game going on during the Globies show, though. When they're not horsing around, or in the middle of a scripted bit, they actually play real basketball. And they actually play the Trotters straight up during those times, before they starting bricking shots or weaving through the grapevine after their "checks."
I found a couple pretty good stories on one of them, guard Shawn Faust. Click HERE (Dennis Rodman!) and HERE.

And here's a story I wrote about the Globies recently. Pics from Friday after the jump:


COAL-HUSKED REPORTER TAKES AIM AT GLOBIES' OKANAGAN HISTORY


As sportswriting goes, it was a line of pure prose.
"Abe Saperstein's Coal-Husked Septette Gallop and Giggle in Chalking up 'Probable' 103-34 Victory over Shamrocks."
I doubt I could get away with calling the Harlem Globetrotters a "Coal-Husked Septette" today, but those were different days, and a different era.
The date was Monday, January 14, 1946, and the Clown Princes of Basketball had brought their game to the Scout Hall in downtown Kelowna. It was a show quite unlike anything the Okanagan had seen before; the barnstorming basketball squad "virtually stood on top of the locals, the intricate passing and expert shooting had the Shamrocks bewildered."
My sports editor, Russ Ullyot, stumbled across the story our of our microfiche files while delving through the archives looking for story ideas for our 100th anniversary at the Daily Courier.
(I'm sure he called me over, not because I'm the only employee of Coal-Husked complexion at the paper, but because I seem to be regarded as the basketball expert in the building.)
The Globies, who visited here again 55 years later in 2001, were a sensation in their brief stay, according to the next morning's edition of the Courier. The youngsters who had been enlisted as scorekeepers lost track of the score in the third quarter, "throwing up their hands, as they were unable to keep up with the rapid-fire scoring of the visitors."
If the appearance of the all-time most successfull basketball team in history wasn't enough (they've won more than 20,000 games in 115 countries), the event also had a public appearance by one of the most famous Olympians of all time.
Jesse (J.C.) Owens gained fame for bursting Adolf Hitler's theory of Aryan supremacy by winning the 100-metre dash, 200-metre dash, broad jump, 4X400m relay - setting Olympic records in three of those events - at the 1936 Olympics in Nazi Germany.
His presence just reinforced the feeling of fellowship among men the Globetrotters inspired.
"They say that sport builds a man's character and brings about a greater understanding betweeen fellow men - and one can quite understand this when they saw the way both teams mixed with one another in good sportsmanlike manner. When Jessie Owens spoke, one detected an appeal for greater understanding of the Negro race - and if any Ambassadors of Good Will are needed, the Globetrotters provided just that."
They also provided a good show.
"The local cage players who opposed the 1945-46 production of the Harlem Globe Trotters last Monday night haven't quite recovered from the rah-rah version of cage cacaphony. They stayed on their feet, and that is about all, but at times one got the impression the Shamrocks had double-vision glasses, for Abe Saperstein's coal-husked septette just galloped and giggled all night long."
The Globies were, and continue to be, about more than basketball. They broke down barriers, both of colour and of culture.
"We're not about money. We're about making people happy," said Hubert (Geese) Ausbie, who has been a Globetrotter for nearly 40 years, during his trip through Kelowna in 2001.
"I remember one time we played in South America, in Peru. They had a civil war going on down there, and they stopped that war for three days while we were there. We left town, and they started again.
"You could say the Globetrotters stopped a war."
The were ambassadors of goodwill, never leaving anywhere without having made new friends - Kelowna included.
The Globies' captain in 1946, Al Price, stopped by the Daily Courier the morning after the game, just to express his appreciation - and to get a copy of the paper mailed to him.
"I just want to say goodbye," he said, "and I want to express my appreciation for the way the people of this city have treated us. If we ever come back this way again, you can be assued that we will stop off at Kelowna again and give you another exhibition.
"We really enjoyed our brief stop-over in your city, and I think the country is beautiful."
Not quite sportwriter's prose, but possibly more heartfelt.



And now, the pics! Click on them for a higher-resolution version....


SPECIAL K
KEVIN "SPECIAL K" DALEY.

The showman, the jokester, the MC. And only in his second season with the Harlem Globetrotters. The 6-5, 220-pounder, who led his team to a NAIA Final Four as a senior (earning Conference Most Valuable Player honors), wants to be a private investigator when he graduates. Yeah.









The famous half-court hook. He missed.






KEIRON "Sweet P" SHINE

A suprisingly good dunker despite being 5-10, Shine is the main ball handler for the Globies - reminiscent of Curly Neal. Shine played two years at the University of Memphis, even dropping a school record 39 points on the University of Miami.











Sweet P and "Shaggy," aka the afore-mentioned Shawn Faust.


KRIS BRUTON

Bruton (6-7, 218) is a fifth-year Globetrotter, and their man aerial assasin. The former NAIA First Team All-American from Benedict College in Columbia, S.C., (1993-94) averaged 20.4 points and 10.0 rebounds per game, while shooting .608 percent (231-of-380) from the floor. He also won the slam dunk contest during the 1994 NCAA Final Four.
And all this from a guy who didn't play high school ball.