Don't ask me to pick up any soap

I'm used to hearing phrases like "Oh. My. God" when I get undressed in front of people (Well, women.). But usually not from my physiotherapist.
But such is life when you have a herniated disc.
So, we all know the saga of how I originally hurt my back (six years ago, snowboarding, compressed spine, yada yada). Well, I tweaked it at the start of soccer season two months ago. It didn't get better, despite repeated treatments from both physiotherapists, chiropractors and faith healers. So I tried a new place, one I knew to be of unquestionable reputation and esteem.
Joel, my "guy," uttered those fateful three words when he saw me shirtless for the first time. "Dude, I don't even know where to start." Of course, I always trust a medical professional who says "dude." Normal alignment, when you look straight down, will have you staring at your navel. Or, if you're svelte enough, at your belt buckle.
I was looking straight down my left leg.
My alignment was so warped and twisted, Joel couldn't even replicate it. So he twisted, pulled, and yanked (don't get it twisted, people), and has me, well, at least walking again. I even had acupuncture for the first time (see my cell-phone self-portrait?), and it, not surprisingly, relieved a lot of the pain.
The past week was probably the most intense, brutal and painful one I've ever spent. Topping off my problems was a head and chest cold. Coughs felt like Mike Tyson was kidney punching me. Sneezes were like an overhand right. One time, I nearly lost bowel control after a sneeze.
But hey - at least the drugs were good.
I'm on my way to recovery these days, and able to sit in front of a computer now. (hence the lack of updates recently)
So on to the news in Smoooooooove's world.

- My sister and mom are back from their middle eastern jaunt. (Read about my sister's travels HERE) She has, for those of you seeking David Caruso memorabilia, left the haven that is CSI: Miami. She's now working feature films, with the next two months being spent in North Carolina filming Gospel Hill with Danny Glover.

- NEWS on the publishing front! Hawaii is still up in the air (fingers crossed, knock on wood), but after three years, my little side project with Doyle has come to fruition! I can't say much right now, but there is potential to start a publishing empire. With me as the next Mr. Black.

- I have yet to put the boat in the water since I got it back from being summerized, but with the heat wave we're facing this weekend, I think it's about time. Now all I have to do is find a lifejacket for my dog, who swims like my dad. (ie: he sinks like a lead weight)


That's about it for now, but here's some links for ya:
- I hope this pig couldn't fly. How the hell does something this size run around in the woods without people knowing about it? People are claiming this is a hoax, but if it is, it's a damned good one. And, the official site of Hogzilla.

- Snoop Doggy Dog. Incognito. Or high.

- My beloved Liverpool lost 2-0 to AC Milan in the Champions League final. One goal was a handball, the other was offside. Because that's how those cheatin' bastards play.

- LeBron. Wow.

Go Anya! It's your Birthday!

First things first - my sis turned (gasp) 36 on Wednesday. She celebrated (or, at least I hope she did), with a big ol' spliff when she got off the plane in Amsterdam. It was the first leg on her voyage to the sandy shores of Cairo, where she, two of her friends, and our mom will be taking a five-day cruise down the Nile.
Yeah, I'm a little jealous. And not even because she ran into Lewis Black in the Red Light District on Thursday.
While my sister and mom are off gallivanting about the Valley of Kings, the Great Pyramids and Petra (where Indiana Jones 3 was filmed), I'll be stuck here taking care of three dogs. Ever try to walk three hyper dogs at once? I don't recommend it.
Anyways, my sis is chronicling her journey on her very own blog! Check it out, if you're so inclined.



Winter is over, and spring is here. It's time to hang up the snowboard (which I have) and break out the wakeboard (which I haven't.) It's been raining and miserable for the past three days (Have I mentioned home much fun it is to walk three hyper dogs in the rain?) so I haven't really had a chance to put the SS Budonkadonk in the water. But ... it's a-coming, I promise.

Work has been, well, "meh." I can only hope that my dream of hawaii comes to fruition (more on that at a later date). I done wracked my back again, and haven't played any soccer for two weeks. Or been to the gym, for that matter. And, to top it off, my moms brought up a whole bunch of bread from Bond Bonds Bakery, one of Victoria's finest. I feel my waistline expanding as we speak...

I have to give a big shout out to my Liverpool boys, who whupped whiny Jose Morinho and Chelsea (AGAIN) to make it to the Champions League final. The Reds are heading to the championship game, and Morinho's wondering why he got them all riled up by calling them an also-ran and "little" club before the game. Did I mention he won't have a job next year? Kind of like this tattoo artist.

That's it for now... if you have a chance, watch this video ... Damn funny. The guy actually played in the WHL a few years back - as a forward, not a goalie.

And I'm out...