"JJ is the shiznit"

I had a really long entry written about my trip to Ottawa for Jen and Dom's wedding. but I've decided not to inflict it on you. So 3,500 words of wedding stories, drinking tales and shopping legends will NOT be coming to a theatre near you, even if it was damned funny (and I do say so myself).
During my Ottawa-Kelowna layover in Vancouver, I happened to call my parents, who informed me that my grandmother was in the hospital, and might not make it through the weekend. The Panic Button got hit, the alarms went off, and JJ went into freak-out mode, culminating in an early-morning visit to see my grams.
I went through a rough patch dealing with seeing Harry in the hospital, and seeing grams in was even harder. But here we are, four days later, and she seems to have rallied. What we initially thought was a stroke seems to be a lack of blood flow to her brain, causing blackouts and loss of motor function. If we can't get her back on her feet, she'll be heading into an extended care home ($$$). I visited Betty, Harry's widow, in the same place grams will go today, and was surprised by how nice it actually was. Friendly people, beautiful decor, and good food.
Anyways, I'm heading back to K-town tommorrow. Here are some point-form highlights from my trip, with pics to follow as soon as Homey C lets me download them from her camera...

Ottawa
- Nice city, reminds me of Victoria. Lots of university students.
- Ottawa in the summer feels like Florida - a ghetto florida. Stepping out of the airport is like getting hit in the face with a wet blanket ... soaked in urine. A stench of Chilliwackian proportions ...
- The groom should always send the bride flowers on her wedding day. Ahem. Dom, take note. (A big shout-out to Lorraine Fung at Loblaw's, too)
- There's nothing like sitting in a church, hungry, while the smell of the KFC right next door (and I mean, RIGHT next door) drifts through the windows ...
- Le petit Jacob est tres grande. Le Grand Jacob is tres cool...
- My french sucks. Just ask the groom's parents.
- There's nothing like havng the (lily-white) bride, during her speech at the reception, thank you for coming by toasting you with "JJ is the shiznit." Even if it is true...
- $11 hiballs better be poured with Courvosier or Hypnotic, not some cheap-ass well alcohol. (Capone's Conference Centre, take note)
- Homey C is a terrible liar. No one believes you when you say you have to drive 45 minutes to The Bay - where the bride and groom were registered - to "get hairspray." Especially when there's a pharmacy two blocks from the house.

Montreal
- As Jon says, "Ugly people live there." Well, he's a shallow bastard. But in his defence, we didn't see any really hot women while we were there. Except for Marie-Eve... good job, Greg! And she's cool, too...
- Don't try to order a double vodka diet coke in Montreal. You'll just confuse them. Believe me.
- There are two drink price lists in Montreal ... the ones for French people, and the ones for Les Anglais. I'm glad you guys lost the World Cup.
- Poutine is the best post-bar food known to mankind. The Dan-Dan and Gauvedet are two of the best. Good LAWD it's tasty - and filling.
- Where comfortable shoes, because it's hard having your boyfriend carry you around at 4 a.m. Especially when he's full of poutine.
- Old Montreal is beautiful.
- Watching Homey C on the metro is a comedy unto itself.