My ass has touched the same places as Eddie Murphy's ass

I think L.A. is affecting me. A trip to Ross yesterday to pick up a pair of pants for today's wedding turned into three pairs of pants and three pairs of shoes. I'm not a shopaholic, it just happened. This city does something to change you. Like this dude at the Kenneth Cole store at the outlet mall the other day. He asks me where I'm from, and I tell him the truth: I moved here from Vancouver to pursue my acting dream. Well, it just so happens that he HAPPENS to be a filmaker, and HAPPENS to be an actor, and HAPPENS to know a guy ... and he'd only been there for a month. From Tennessee. No real experience beyond that.

Anyways, yesterday we made the trip to Fox's Dreamworks Studio, where Eddie Murphy's new movie, Norbit, was under production. Anya happened to be real good friends with one of the assistant directors, the wonderful Renee, and she took us on a tour of the entire set. Of course, Anya took the chance to do a little networking, a little schmoozing, while we were there.
So the whole premise behind Norbit is that Eddie is an orphan, and he falls in love with this little orphan girl. They get separated, and decades pass until they meet again. But Norbit is married to this hag of a wife, Rasputia, who is having an affair with her crunk/tap dance teacher, Marlon Wayans. Yada yada yada, blah blah blah, and we likely have Pluto Nash part II.
Apparently Wayans is a real trip to work with. We were watching the digital playbacks of a scene (right after they shot it. Tight.) where Marlon's character is caught in bed with Rasputia, and you could see this massive bush peeking over the top of his bikini briefs. It'll be edited out in the final cut, and Marlon apparently did it just to fuck with Eddie's mind. I guess he is funny after all.
Now Eddie, for being a legend of comedy, is apparently a real dick to work with. He's constantly late, has no respect for most people, and has this massive entourage that follows him wherever he goes. He's got not one, not two, not three, but FIVE trailers, all arranged in a circle to create his own little compound on set. No one, except one production assistant specifically assigned to him, is allowed in.
Funny story - Thandie Newton got sick of his tardiness one day and stopped his limo as it was rolling through the lot. She motioned him to roll down the windown, which he did, then she berated him in a calm, non-confrontational manner. "It's not just me, it's the crew, too. It's just not very professional," she said.
She leaves, and Eddie says to his production assistant, "Somebody betta talk to her. Let her know how things are."
The producer and Thandie have a little chat, leaving the Crash star in tears, and erryting was back to the way it always was.
Eddie just don't seem that happy for someone with more money than God, a talent to make people laugh on par with the Big Guy Upstairs, and a loving family. Walking across the lot, he practically scowled wherever he went. I guess one too many Pluto Nashes will do that to a brother.
The tour of the set was real cool. I got to see everything, including shots, editing, make-up, the whole nine. I went through trailers, the Honey Wagon, saw the prothestic make-up artist, saw it all. It was pretty tight, and I have to thank my sister for taking me. Even the food was off the hook - catered gourmet cuisine. There was even a molten chocolate fountain for dessert.
I'm expecting more of the same this afternoon. We're taking a limo out to Malibu for my sister's friend's wedding. Malibu... good lord. I've never seen so much money before. It's crazy. Hopefully, I won't be too hungover to make my flight tomorrow.

and I'm out ...