ENOUGH already

OK, OK... I'll update my damn blog. Now stop with the emails...

The truth is, there isn't much to write about these days. Life is pretty rote. The highlight of my day is reading my boy Miceail's blog. Rouge is currently overseas ripping up the Irish Special Olympics Co-Ed basketball league. Or something like that.
All I know is it's better than the Kelowna Men's Basketball League, though my team is sitting pretty in second place. Anj's team is in first, but I'm coming for you next, son...
So Christmas is coming. Hallaluejah. Great. Can you say "credit card debt"? I think I might just celebrate Festivus instead. Anyone got a six-foot aluminum pole? ;)
Actually, the plan is to hit Victoria on Christmas Eve, where I will partake in Christmas dinner in the Bengal Lounge of the Empress Hotel with my moms. I just hope I can remember which fork goes with which course.
After that, it's back to White Rock for Christmas Day with my pops, stepmom and gran. Then I have - believe it or not - another week off, which I will spend accumulating the aforementioned "credit card debt."
New Year's Eve is still a toss-up: Whistler or Vancouver? My boy Jon is helping open Ric's Grill's new martini lounge in Whistler, while Dee is holding another comedy show at a club in Van... Ahh, decisions, decisions.
I drive back to K-town on the second, where I will start work again, as I begin the long and drawn-out process of dodging creditors until I get my tax return in April...
Oh, ya... somewhere during the holidays I'll have to figure out who I am going to vote for in this coming election. Which leads me to THIS: (nice segway, eh?)

THE DAILY SHOW POKES FUN AT CANADA, MAKES FALL OF GOVERNMENT IT'S NO. 1 ITEM

By Lee-Anne Goodman
TORONTO (CP) — The Daily Show with Jon Stewart usually concerns itself with ridiculing the American government, aiming most of its gleeful disdain at President George W. Bush.
But on Tuesday night, the award-winning “fake-news” show — considered the hippest on the U.S. airwaves — made the collapse of Paul Martin’s government its top item, devoting five minutes to a Canadian story that many election-weary Canadians are not finding terribly funny.
The show, airing in Canada on CTV and the Comedy Network, opened to the backdrop of a Canadian flag before Stewart directed his trademark sarcastic asides at the fall of the government.
When Stewart noted that the Liberals had been defeated amid shocking revelations of widespread corruption, he added: “Shocking that somewhere a liberal party is ruling.”
The biggest laughs from the crowd came when a picture of Martin, the word “Hosed” emblazoned across the top of the photo, was flashed — an apparent sign that the American love affair with those famous Canadian hosers, Bob and Doug McKenzie, is an enduring one.
Conservative Leader Stephen Harper didn’t escape unscathed: Stewart poked fun at Harper’s insistence Tuesday that when the Liberals criticize the Tories, “it’s like the thief who cries fire in a crowded restaurant.”
That was met with one of Stewart’s vintage pained and confused looks.
“In that, it’s confusing?” he asked in bewilderment.
Stewart then threw to “Canadian bureau chief” Samantha Bee, the Toronto-born comedian who’s a featured player on the show, in a segment called Maple Grief that poked fun at American ignorance of all things Canadian, including its location on the North American map.
“Where is Canada?” Stewart asked.
When Bee pointed out its location on a map, Stewart replied: “I always thought that was just some kind of desolate no-man’s land.”
He then egged Bee into saying “eh” and “a-boot” to the roars of the crowd.
The Daily Show’s spinoff, The Colbert Report, also had some fun Tuesday night at the expense of Canada’s reputation for politeness.
As the show opened with a rundown of the day’s headlines, the words Martin Smartin’ appeared as Stephen Colbert intoned: “Tonight, Canada’s government falls. Will the streets murmur with quiet disagreement?”
Stewart was in Canada in October and perhaps took to heart a command by one of his audience members who couldn’t help but put Canada — and its apparent insecurities — on the agenda.
“Mention us on your show!” one man screamed out as Stewart prepared to take his final bow after a stand-up appearance.
“What should I say about you?” he asked.
“Toronto rocks!” was the reply.
To which Stewart retorted: “That strikes me as a relatively insecure request. I think Winnipeg knows.”

Story of the day

So one day, my friend - we'll call him Colonel Sanders to protect the innocent - having some free time on his hands, decided to watch a movie. Rummaging through his pile of VHS tapes, he came across one with no label. He popped it in, pressed play, and sat down to watch.
Yep... you guessed it.
It was porn. Not just any porn, mind you ... but a particularily kinky tape of his girlfriend with someone else. Apparently the missus kept an ol' film she made with a manfriend at the time...

Anyways, I thought of that when I saw this story on the wire...

PETERBOROUGH, Ont. (CP) — A Peterborough teenager sold more than her mother’s video camera for $200.
She didn’t know a home video of her mother and her mother’s boyfriend engaged in an intimate act was in the camera.
Court heard the mother learned the camera was missing on Nov. 25, 2004, when the boyfriend called and complained the tape was being shown around town.
The daughter, now 19, admitted she’d taken the camera from her mother’s bedroom closet and sold it to a friend.
The mother called police and her daughter was charged with theft.
The daughter pleaded guilty Wednesday to charges of theft under $5,000, failing to attend court and two counts breach of probation.
Lawyer Robert Beninger said his client didn’t know the tape was in the camera.
“It’s an unfortunate byproduct of her taking the camera,” he said.
The case is to return to court in January for a pre-sentence report.

I'm waiting for this to show up on the Net along with Paris Hilton's latest effort at filmography... lol

crack for EVERYONE!

For those who think politics is boring ... our resident 20-something-year-old wingnut spices up the campaign!

Candidate for Kelowna mayor suggests using drugs to motivate the homeless

KELOWNA, B.C. (CP) - One of the five candidates running for mayor in Kelowna has come up with an unusual idea on how to deal with the city’s drug-addicted homeless people.
Andrew Uitvlugt (eyet-vlooked) said crack could be used as a reward or incentive to motivate people to pick up garbage in the city.
He figures the addicts will start to feel good about themselves and need less crack as a result, CKOV radio reported Thursday.
”So what I propose to do, is to possibly motivate people with drugs to do constructive work, like get them out there picking up garbage, and then we’ll give them some crack,” he says on the website www.okbc.tv in a video campaign pitch for the Nov. 19 municipal election.
”Now what’ll happen here, is after they’re done picking up their garbage, they’re going to feel somewhat good, they’re going to think to themselves, ‘You know, I did a good job today.’ And they’re going to maybe need less crack.”
Uitvlugt said he would also like to move the homeless to a combined shelter and retraining centre at the city dump, where they could use the available materials to build things and get marketable skills.

Fall from glory

I read this story... thought it was interesting... I'm ashamed to say I don't remember this guy too well, although I claim to be a trueblooded Raiders fan..

So how do you go ...

A KICKERS FALL
Originally uploaded by smoove_J.

... from this ...

A KICKERS FALL
Originally uploaded by smoove_J.

... to this? Read on ...




From NFL to a mental facility, the rise and fall of a troubled kicker

By Christina Almeida
LAS VEGAS (AP) — Cole Ford took the field at old Tampa Stadium as the clock ticked down to the last nine seconds of the fourth quarter.
It was 1996, and the playoff hopes of an entire Raider Nation rested on the one-time water boy for a youth football league. The Oakland Raiders, 4-5, were at a critical moment in their season if they were to have any hope of making the playoffs for the first time in three years.
Ford had blown a 30-yard field goal the week before in a Monday night game against Denver. This time, with the score tied, he set up for an easy 28-yarder.
Perhaps overcompensating, Ford’s kick sailed left, and Oakland lost in overtime. The 23-year-old Ford, in his second professional season, faced harsh criticism.
“From that short a distance, I’d better make it,” Tampa Bay kicker Michael Husted said, “or not plan on showing up here on Monday morning.”
Ford would make it back the next day and for one more dismal season. And then the bright lights of the gridiron faded, and Ford would fall further than anyone could imagine.
———
The call came in at 6:15 p.m. Shots fired outside the Las Vegas home of entertainers Siegfried & Roy. Buried beneath long hair and an even longer beard, the shooter was almost unrecognizable.
———
Handsome and self-assured, Ford arrived at Southern California in the fall of 1991 ready to tackle the demands of one of the nation’s most prestigious college football programs.
Ford knew well the pressure of big games. He won the state championship his senior year at Sabino High School. The Sabercats of Tucson, Ariz., were ranked 17th in the nation, and Ford alternated between kicker and defensive end.
“He smiled more than any person I know,” said Ford’s high school football coach, Jeff Scurran. “He had a lot to smile about. Good family. Good life.”
The youngest of three boys, Ford grew up on a ranch surrounded by horses and other livestock. His love of football began early as a Tucson Youth Football water boy.
At Sabino, Ford was an all-American athlete with good looks and good grades. Scurran said Ford was remarkably grounded for his age. He made friends easily.
“Here’s a guy who looked about as together as you could be,” Scurran said.
———
It was not uncommon for cars to slow down as they passed the sprawling Jungle Palace estate owned by Siegfried & Roy, the Las Vegas duo known for their mix of magic and exotic animals.
But as the sun began to set on Sept. 21, 2004, the white van shattered the residential calm. Obscenities poured out of the slow-moving van, then blasts from a 12-gauge shotgun sprayed the entrance.
———
At USC, Ford had a reputation for being upbeat, hard-working and extremely talented.
The Trojans, on the heels of back-to-back bowl appearances, struggled during Ford’s first two seasons. Then coach John Robinson arrived in 1993, ready to restore glory to the USC campus.
Robinson had led the Trojans to a national championship in 1978 — and expectations were high.
In Ford’s senior year the Trojans beat Texas Tech 55-14 in the Cotton Bowl. Ford hit a career-best 42-yard field goal and his seven extra points were a Cotton Bowl record.
“Kicking in college takes a lot of strength mentally. You have to be focused,” Ford said in a 1991 interview. “But I like a challenge and I’ve always been someone who likes a challenge. I want to be the man who does the job.”
Ford was so driven, his special teams coach tried to make sure the young kicker didn’t push himself too far.
“No question, he had one of the strongest legs in the country,” coach Jeff Kearin said. “He had such power kicking the ball that he put great stress on his body.”
At one point, injuries slowed Ford — something Kearin believes was brought on by excessive training.
“He really wanted to be great,” Kearin said.
———
When the gunshots rang out, Gregory Garrett was loading construction equipment outside the estate of Siegfried Fischbacher and Roy Horn. Before the white van disappeared, Garrett wrote down its licence plate number.
The police call went out. Cole Ford was a wanted man.
———
Selected by the Pittsburgh Steelers in the seventh round of the 1995 NFL draft, Ford was released during training camp but quickly picked up by the Oakland Raiders. At six foot two and 210 pounds, Ford was an attractive prospect.
With the team’s No. 1 kicker, Jeff Jaeger, sidelined by a sprained knee, Ford hit a 46-yard field goal in the Raiders’ opener against San Diego. Jaeger returned to reclaim the top spot that season, but Ford would challenge the 10-year veteran for the job through the 1996 training camp and pre-season.
Jaeger’s subsequent release from Oakland elicited a sharp reaction from fans and sportswriters, especially after Ford’s missed kick against Tampa Bay. Critics complained that if the Raiders had kept Jaeger instead of Ford, they might have been 6-4 and in the middle of the playoff race.
The NFL can be an unforgiving place for kickers, who sometimes are released after a single missed kick and often bounce from team to team.
“It gets hard,” Ford said after the Tampa Bay loss. “The last two weeks I’ve been the factor in the game.”
Ford played on, but struggled. He made little more than half his field goals the next year and was cut by the Raiders before the 1998 season. He was picked up by the Buffalo Bills but quickly released as the team struggled.
———
The anonymous tip came 11 days after the shooting: The man wanted in the Siegfried & Roy attack was at a Kinko’s shop off the Las Vegas Strip. Police arrested Ford, who was charged with numerous felonies, including assault with a deadly weapon.
A judge ordered a psychiatric evaluation.
———
After being abandoned by a sport he’d loved since childhood, Ford sought refuge at a family home in Lake Tahoe, doing carpentry and masonry work.
But he distanced himself from family and friends, and his behavior grew bizarre. At one point he took family photographs and burned them.
Former Oakland teammate Lincoln Kennedy recalled seeing Ford some years after the young kicker was released from the team. Ford was almost unidentifiable, wearing a camouflage jacket and looking “like Grizzly Adams,” Kennedy said.
Looking back, Kennedy said Ford was different.
“In all honesty, no one was able to put their finger on it because we didn’t know a lot about this guy until after he left,” Kennedy said.
Ford says he travelled the world, living off his NFL earnings. Visiting Mexico, Egypt, Greece and Italy, Ford tried to make sense of his life.
His travels took him to Las Vegas, where he turned his focus to sports bookmaking operations at casinos. In January 2004, Ford filed a $5-million US suit against the Monte Carlo hotel-casino, claiming the casino industry took advantage of athletes.
“Sports gaming is placing challenges on athletes beyond a college and professional experience,” Ford wrote. “I believe gaming is stealing from (an athlete’s) earning potential. The athlete is creating the results and the sports books are claiming them.”
The lawsuit was dismissed.
———
Dr. Norton Roitman examined Ford on Nov. 10, 2004, and diagnosed the 32-year-old with an unspecified psychotic disorder. Ford told the psychiatrist that while watching Siegfried & Roy he realized “what was wrong with the world was linked to the illusionists’ treatment, dominance and unhealthy intimacy” with their animals, Roitman wrote in his report.
“He felt they threatened (the) world, and he began trying to figure out how he could stop them.”
An obstinate Ford later appeared in a Las Vegas courtroom, demanding to plead guilty to the shooting. Instead, the judge ruled he was incompetent to stand trial and sent him to the state’s mental facility in northern Nevada.
“I’m perfectly competent,” Ford told the judge in January.
———
How Ford went from the NFL to a mental institution remains a mystery.
Doctors say it’s likely Ford began showing symptoms of mental illness in his late teens, but his former coaches say they saw nothing.
“It came so far out of left field,” said Kearin, the former USC coach. “I could have named 10 guys who would have lost it and done something like this. Not Cole Ford.”
Most family members declined comment. His mother, Amy Ford, said in a brief phone conversation that it has been years since she saw her son. She hopes he gets the help he needs.
“Nobody truly understands how this stuff happens,” said high school coach Scurran, who is a close friend of the family. “If we knew that, we would probably be on a much better path of curing this. . . . Everyone wants to find a trigger point, but based on some of our conversations, nobody knows.”
In late September, a judge ordered doctors to medicate Ford, who faces up to 27 years in prison if convicted.
Ford, in two phone interviews late this summer, said he was doing well and still wants to plead guilty.
“I accept my charges,” he said. “I’m excited to have a felony on my record. I’m interested to see what the people have to say to see a man with a perfect record have a felony. I’m a perfect citizen. I have a perfect work history.”
Ford reiterated his fear of Siegfried & Roy, calling them “some of the most dangerous people in our country.” He also was sharply critical of the NFL.
“NFL players are much in the environment of the Roman Coliseum. A lot of sacrificing takes place,” Ford said. “It’s possible I didn’t want to become a successful athlete because maybe then I would have been sacrificed.”

NEWS FLASH: Black guys do run faster/jump higher

My first year of college, I wrote a story on the Dream Team, and how John Stockton was the only white guy on the team. I cited studies on "fast-twitch' fibres, genetics and culture as to why basketball was a sport dominated by the brothas.
Talk about igniting a firestorm.
The college paper was inundated with letters, calls, and labels of how 'racist' we were. Of course, the writers had no idea the author of said piece (me) was of afro descent. It was amusing, to say the least.
So here we are, 10 years later, and the same arguments are still going on. I came across this story on Friday, and laughed my ass off when I read some of the quotes. Litke is totally on point when he said these coaches were correct in their statements.
I think what it comes down to is this: identifying one race as superior in one way might suggest an inferiority in another. Like blacks may be able run fast, but are lack the ability to be intellectual. White people are good at running a business, but can't dance. Chinese people are good at math, but are lousy basketball players.
While I agree there are trends among those of certain bloodlines, that does by no means limit them to those specific skills/talents. Generalizations are inherently racist, I guess.
And besides, when you have people like me — a Heinz 57 of gene pools, if there ever was one — separating what belongs to one race and not to another is impossible.

carter
Originally uploaded by smoove_J.

Vince Carter. Half-man, half amazing. Half black?


THIS SHOULD NOT BE NEWS: BLACK ATHLETES DO RUN FASTER

By Jim Litke
The Associated Press

Before Joe Paterno gets dunked in the same tub of recycled hot water where Fisher DeBerry nearly drowned last week, let’s get one thing straight:
They’re right.
Both of them.
Black athletes run faster.
Not all black athletes, of course. Distinctions are never more important than when discussing race, which is why generalizations like the paragraph above is bound to cause headaches. But the most recent, most credible research on the subject arrived at the very same conclusion, over and over. And that was five years ago.
Too often in the past, saying blacks were superior athletes was little more than a backhanded compliment, intended to smear them in the same breath as inferior human beings. Like many of us, author Jon Entine hoped that notion was history by the time he wrote Taboo: Why Black Athletes Dominate Sports and Why We’re Afraid to Talk About It.
But as the furor over DeBerry’s remarks demonstrates, and while few would argue with what the Air Force Academy coach said, even fewer are comfortable talking about why it’s true.
Entine is not, perhaps because he is careful about drawing distinctions, even among black athletes. He says descendants of East Africans — Kenyans, for example — are predisposed to lean body types better suited for distance running. Descendants of West Africans, on the other hand, have more muscular body types favouring speed.
DeBerry didn’t bother with such distinctions when he explained a 48-10 pounding of his football squad by TCU this way: “The other team had a lot more Afro-American players than we did and they ran a lot faster than we did.”
And earlier this week, asked about the offensive explosion in college football, Paterno stuck his toe gingerly into the same pool.
“You got to be careful how you say things sometimes, DeBerry got in trouble,” Paterno began hesitantly. But then the Penn State coach added, “The black athlete has made a big difference. They’ve changed the whole tempo of the game.”
For a full, frank discussion of why that’s so, read Entine’s book. For a quick explanation, scan the ranks of NFL cornerbacks and world-class sprinters.
“I did hear the gist of it and I think I know the point that he was trying to make,” said Indianapolis Colts coach Tony Dungy, one of the NFL’s most thoughtful leaders and a former cornerback himself.
“I didn’t really read anything into it other than he wanted more speed on his team. … I didn’t think it was a racist comment. It may have been politically incorrect to say it that way,” Dungy added, “but I didn’t view it negatively at all myself.”
Neither did Jon Drummond, a U.S. gold-medal sprinter who, like Dungy, is black.
“I laughed the first time I heard what the Air Force coach said. In fact, the flip side is a running joke in the sprint world. We’re always saying, `Find a white man who can run real fast and you’ll find a man making a whole of money.’
“So do I think a guy should be reprimanded or fired for saying blacks are faster? No,” Drummond said. “I think we’ve definitely come a long away from the attitudes in place a generation or two ago. But do I think that coach needs to have a conversation, have somebody pull him aside and explain that it’s still a very sensitive subject? Absolutely.”
The subject is still so raw that the right-thinking people at the Air Force Academy made a wrong-headed decision and forced a tearful apology from DeBerry the day after his original comments. All that proved is that people of every colour can be made to atone in a hurry.
But DeBerry’s sin wasn’t as egregious as that committed by Paul Hornung, who said Notre Dame, his alma mater, should lower admission standards to net more blacks. Nor was it was as foolish as the pseudoscientific mumbo-jumbo that Al Campanis and Jimmy (The Greek) Snyder tried to pass off as observations. Hornung got off light, but the same nonsense cost Campanis and Snyder their reputations and their jobs.
It’s shameful how little the debate has advanced since. Entine believed when he finished Taboo five years ago that any discussion about race in the open “beats backroom scuttlebutt.” But every time it spills back into the headlines, he’s not so sure.
“I think what DeBerry said was absolutely accurate, though he didn’t say it as elegantly as he should have. The problem arose because of the historical context in which the discussions have been carried on … that because blacks are better athletes, they somehow have less between the ears.
“But DeBerry wasn’t saying that,” Entine added, “and frankly, I don’t see how anybody with any common sense would question what he did say.”
In 1999, Entine was attending an academic conference and listening to speakers debate whether racial profiling was still widespread in sports when he noticed a man the size of a defensive lineman sitting alone in the back. He turned out to be an assistant football coach at a big-time college.
“I’ve been listening to this nonsense going on half an hour. … At Division I or in the pros, to survive coaches have to recruit the best players and we damn well better play them at the optimal positions,” the assistant said. “We don’t care if a player is white, black or striped. The pressure to win is immense.”

Howlin Halloween

There are friends, and then there are people you thought were friends.
Here's one from someone who will remain anonymous, because I'm not a vindictive or spiteful person.

"I thought i'd check your blog to see what nonsense ramblings might reveal what's made you extra prick-like lately....lo and behold lots of sappy gush unfit for a Danielle Steele novella. The onlookers scratch their heads and wonder when jake will look inward for the answers he searches so desparately for everywhere else, and then return to watching paint dry ."

Now, in her defence, she did say she was kidding. She was mad because I made a joke about putting her precious cat (who I was house-sitting) in a kennel for two days since I had to go TAKE CARE OF MY GRANDMOTHER. I wouldn't of sent her cat anywhere, but, well, this was her way of proving just how right she was, and how terribly wrong I was to make an off-the-cuff comment.

Did I mention she's a grown-ass woman? Well, I guess it's just her ass that's grown. (That whole me not being spiteful and vindictive? fuggedaboutit)


So anyways, for Halloween, I dressed up for the first time in many years. My costume? Well, let's just say I was from Chilliwack. And that was real cornhusk in my mouth, by the way...
The party was actually pretty tame, despite the outfits. We saved the boozing to when we got to the bar, much to the relief of my roomate, who shot daggers at me with her eyes when she came home to loud music and a roomful of Value Village rejects at 11 pm.

Here are some pics...

pumpkins
Originally uploaded by smoove_J.

I carved the one that looks like it was cut by a three-year-old.

redneck2
Originally uploaded by smoove_J.

A redneck and an indian princess ... go figure.

redneck
Originally uploaded by smoove_J.

Andrea was caught about to touch my sheep... Aaron had the video camera ready.

danandjon
Originally uploaded by smoove_J.

He just realized where her other hand had gone...

jonandtif
Originally uploaded by smoove_J.

Let's see... a black redneck with a beer, Lara Croft's younger sister, and a white 70s basketball player with an afro. Yep, it was one hell of a party...