"Hello, is this Telephone Mtoko?"

Tired of March Madness already? Sick of hearing about bracketology and the like? Well, check THIS out...

It would be easy to go this gratuitous sexual reference way - hello Chew Kok and Glorious Johnson - but I have to go with my man, Nutritious Love.

And I must thank my parents for having the compassion to give me a normal name...

Catching up

Small talk is such a shallow thing sometimes. How many times have you been at a party where your conversation goes something like this:

You: "Hey, man... it's been a long time. What's new with you?"
Them: "Awww, nothing. Same shit, you know?"
You: "Yeah. Me, too. Working hard and hardly working!" (*forces laugh)

Well, there's plenty new with me, but for the life of me, I can't remember it all. So, in bullet form...
— Went to Vegas (again). Did THIS when I went HERE. Came home significantly lighter in the wallet.
— I have been freezing my ass off the past two weeks... Cold snap in Vancouver. Below freezing. Wind chill. But, it could be worse - I could live in Cowtown!
— The Province big-wigs are talking about creating a new position for me... apparently, I seem to be on the cutting edge of what's hot with young people on the web. The only problem with the new position: I'd have to wake up in the mornings. Ugh.
— Getting used to having Miceail live down here with me n' Dee. We're like the Three Amigos. I'd be Steve Martin. It's nice being able to go ball on the seawall courts in the sunshine...
— Went and watched the Watchmen with the other Dos Amigos a couple days ago. We couldn't believe how bad it was ... and that's not because we were put off by a glowing blue dong floating around for three hours. It was just stonily-acted, had meandering plot line, and gratuitous shots of glowing blue dongs. (OK, so the blue dong might have been a problem). Wait for the video, people. As Flava Flav once said... "Don't believe the hype!"
— Am really enjoying the proximity to Granville Island... I can take the little water taxi over there - and everywhere else along False Creek. I expect to do that a lot this summer...

Well, that's about all I can remember... but here is the Story of the Month to tide you over..



"OH. MY. GOD. Roy Jones Jr. is here!!," Steph screamed in my ear. "It's him, it's really him!!!"
With that, she practically dislocated my shoulder as she dragged me off the dance floor at Republic. Needless to say, I was unimpressed.
It was reggae night. I was dancing with a hottie. I didn't want to be dragged on some wild goose chase to see some dude who obviously wasn't going to be Roy Jones Jr., perhaps the greatest pound-for-pound fighter of all time.
Well, guess what? It wasn't Roy Jones. Nope. Not even his brother.

But Stephie wasn't COMPLETELY out of her head. It was one "Sugar" Shane Mosley, the reigning world welterweight champion. Stephie and Shaz were ushered into the VIP area, where they posed for pictures with the gazillionaire boxer. Me? I went back downstairs to dance. Hey - it was reggae night!

(And let this be a lesson to all as to what you put on the internet... I stole that there picture off of her facebook. Let that be a lesson to you. Or maybe let this video be a lesson to you.)