Avast, ye mateys ...

I saw this come across the wire today, and I had to post it. I loved this joke from near the end of the story...

On white people co-opting black slang without knowing anything of black culture, he offered sage advice: “You might as well talk like a pirate.”

Can I get an "Amen?" Or is that an "Arrrrr...."

Jonny
Originally uploaded by smoove_J.

In an April 2003 report entitled "SARS Attacks!," Jon Stewart lampooned Mayor Mel Lastman and the SARS situation in Toronto. "Senior Viral Analyst" Dr. Stephen Colbert reported from Toronto that "an epidemic might give this place a little zippity zing." Stewart also commented after viewing Mel Lastman's appearance on CNN: "You know, I was thinking of going to Toronto, but I've heard the mayor is kind of dick. By the way, for more information on Toronto, pick up a copy of the mayor's new city guide, Toronto: What the Hell?".




STEWART TAKES HIS STAND UP NORTH OF THE BORDER

By Greg Bonnell
TORONTO (CP) — Celebrated satirical newsman Jon Stewart came to talk Friday of all that’s wrong with America, but his Canadian audience couldn’t help but put this country — and its insecurities— on the agenda.
“Mention us on your show,” one man screamed out as Stewart prepared to take his final bow.
“What should I say about you?” asked the affable TV host.
“Toronto rocks,” was the reply to which Stewart retorted “that strikes me as a relatively insecure request. I think Winnipeg knows.”
Stewart couldn’t lose returning to his stand-up roots, drawing constant guffaws from an audience that clearly loved him. The Daily Show host proved he hadn’t lost his chops as a comic, albeit one with weighty issues on his mind.
Lamenting that the modern human lacks even an elementary understanding of the modern world they’ve created, Stewart tore into a gag about video gaming on his home PC.
“As far as I’m concerned, there’s eight really smart gerbils in that box.”
On science’s pre-occupation with curing erectile dysfunction, he was blunt.
“We’re hard, move on to cancer.”
On U.S. President George W. Bush and the perceived rush to war in Iraq, he was merciless.
“He’s not stupid…he’s not a retarded man…he just doesn’t give a shit about you, or anything,” Stewart said to howls of approval.
“Germany didn’t want to go to war (in Iraq). I don’t know how to say it any more simply than that.”
While the United States remains mired in the fragile politics of Iraq and the Middle East, Stewart served notice to his neighbours to the north.
“You may be next, I don’t know. You’ll all be at some hockey game somewhere and you come out and our flag will be flying.”
The event that would precipitate a hostile takeover by American forces? Tim Horton is mistaken for a terrorist.
Stewart clearly relished the freedom of language a stand-up enjoys as opposed to a TV host, with expletives punctuating most jokes.
“You’re thinking, `You’re not the nice man from the TV. You’re a dirty little man,’ ” said Stewart, whose U.S. cable show on Comedy Central is seen in Canada most week nights on CTV and The Comedy Network.
Notably absent, though, were any vitriolic attacks on the media — a practice Stewart frequently engages.
Last year, when invited on CNN’s Crossfire as comic relief, Stewart launched into host Tucker Carlson for his “partisan hackery.”
Last week at an industry panel discussion, Stewart tore a strip from some of America’s most powerful magazine editors, including those from Time and Vanity Fair, for failing to live up to journalist standards.
Not so funny.
But on Friday, despite the lengthy meditations on an America polarized by foreign policy, science, religion and race relations, Stewart proved himself to be a very funny man.
On white people co-opting black slang without knowing anything of black culture, he offered sage advice: “You might as well talk like a pirate.”
With numerous Emmy awards for The Daily Show and an ever-growing audience, Stewart understood the crowd would be hungry for his musings on current events — regardless of the night being billed as stand-up.
The collective sigh North America took when it was revealed that the mysterious deaths of 17 elderly people in Toronto was actually due to legionnaires’ disease, for Stewart, was a sad reflection on society’s obsession with the next big killer disease.
“Thank God, it’s that disease we don’t think will sweep the planet.”
Latecomers to the show became fodder for a gag on SARS, the respiratory illness that made Toronto the pariah of travel destinations in 2003.
“We were worried sick,” Stewart said to the people, who were unfortunate enough to have seats near the front. “We thought you had SARS. We thought to ourselves, get out the masks.”
Stewart ended the night with an encore that drew humour from his home life, a place his faithful audience clearly relished being invited into.